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As Pretty As A Song
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"Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon."
Another great moment in Florida politics. Also: Best lede ever?
This took us years to pass. Strangely, the effective date is in October. Apparently we needed to give people some time to hear that sex with animals is no longer legal in Florida.
9 hours ago 57 notes
A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child by Tina Fey
First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back. “My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.
10 hours ago 4 notes
The Artful Dodger: Answering the Wrong Question the Right Way
What happens when people try to “dodge” a question they would rather not answer by answering a different question? In four online studies using paid participants, we show that listeners can fail to detect dodges when speakers answer similar-but objectively incorrect-questions (the “artful dodge”), a detection failure that went hand-in-hand with a failure to rate dodgers more negatively. We propose that dodges go undetected because listeners’ attention is not usually directed at a dodge detection goal (Is this person answering the question?) but rather towards a social evaluation goal (Do I like this person?). Listeners were not blind to all dodge attempts, however. Dodge detection increased when listeners’ attention was diverted from social goals to determining the relevance of the speakers’ answers (Study 1), when speakers answered egregiously dissimilar questions (Study 2), and when listeners’ attention was directed to the question asked by keeping it visible during speakers’ answers (Study 4).
1 day ago 8 notes
noraleah: OH MY LAWD! It’s Elton John changing his baby’s diaper … with a little help from a certain Duke and Duchess. Thank you, Alexis, for pointing me to Alison Jackson, the progenitor of this image. I knew there was someone out there doing intimate “cell phone shots” of “celebrities” but couldn’t remember whom exactly. I first saw a picture of Kate and Wills getting rowdy with a crown in some UK rag back in 2005 — and I admit I fell for it for a full 10 seconds. Also, she calls it art. I love this.
OH MY LAWD! It’s Elton John changing his baby’s diaper … with a little help from a certain Duke and Duchess.
Thank you, Alexis, for pointing me to Alison Jackson, the progenitor of this image. I knew there was someone out there doing intimate “cell phone shots” of “celebrities” but couldn’t remember whom exactly. I first saw a picture of Kate and Wills getting rowdy with a crown in some UK rag back in 2005 — and I admit I fell for it for a full 10 seconds.
Also, she calls it art.
I love this.
1 day ago 127 notes
jstn: Skysurvey.org is the largest ever true color all-sky photograph. 5 kilopixel panorama of 37,440 exposures from 2 hemispheres. This is what you’d see if the Earth suddenly became transparent and the sky were 3000 times brighter. I love how strongly you can perceive the disc of the Milky Way; we’re at the outer edge so there’s a lot of stars between us and the core.
Skysurvey.org is the largest ever true color all-sky photograph. 5 kilopixel panorama of 37,440 exposures from 2 hemispheres. This is what you’d see if the Earth suddenly became transparent and the sky were 3000 times brighter. I love how strongly you can perceive the disc of the Milky Way; we’re at the outer edge so there’s a lot of stars between us and the core.
1 day ago 101 notes
"On a 251-to-175 vote, the House approved a bill prohibiting federal money to be used for insurance plans that cover abortions. The bill goes beyond current federal law, which prohibits the use of federal funds for abortions. It would also wipe out tax breaks for private employers who provide coverage if their plans offer abortion services and would eliminate the ability to pay for an abortion with pretax dollars from a flexible spending plan."
House Votes to Limit Access to Abortion - NYTimes.com (via standupforwomen)
The Florida Legislature passed this law this year and put a constitutional amendment on the ballot. (In case you can’t tell, the Florida Legislature clearly respects the reproduction rights of women!)
1 day ago 14 notes
theatlantic: My Favorite Photo Ever: A Military Dog Jumping Out of a Helicopter: …a dog was among the contingent of commandos sent to kill Osama bin Laden. The two lead photographs show dogs jumping out of aircraft, which I find totally mindblowing. Read on and see the other photo that blew Alexis Madrigal’s mind at The Atlantic.
My Favorite Photo Ever: A Military Dog Jumping Out of a Helicopter:
…a dog was among the contingent of commandos sent to kill Osama bin Laden. The two lead photographs show dogs jumping out of aircraft, which I find totally mindblowing.
Read on and see the other photo that blew Alexis Madrigal’s mind at The Atlantic.
1 day ago 871 notes
Mike Hudack: Today, we're six.
On May 5, 2005, I registered the domain name blip.tv for $35 on my personal credit card. At the time, I remember thinking “wow, that’s a lot for a domain name” and wondered if we were actually going to get anywhere with this whole web video thing.
Six years later, looking around our
1 day ago 72 notes
Hot Damn! Behind the Young Rummy Aide Who Broke Bin Laden's Bust
As reporters—still foggy from the White House Correspondents Dinner parties that had stretched into the wee hours—scrambled to figure out the subject of the news conference, Mr. Urbahn fielded a call from what he only described as a “connected network TV news producer” who asked him to be put in touch with Mr. Rumsfeld for an on-air interview. Bin Laden, it seemed, had been killed, and the network wanted reaction.
Mr. Urbahn waved off the request—it was too premature—and turned on the news, where there were still shots of the White House and network anchors who seemed to know very little about what was to come.
“I mentioned it offhand to my wife, and just threw it down on Twitter thinking there surely have to be a couple of dozen other people who have heard the same rumor and thought of [doing] the same thing,” he told The Observer.
“But apparently not. The tweet went viral and it was off to the races at that point.”
1 day ago 14 notes
"I don’t remember the story we were reading — was it about pigs?” says Williams, 16. “But I’ll always remember watching his face turn red. He got really serious all of a sudden. But I was clueless. I was just 7. I’m just glad he didn’t get up and leave, because then I would have been more scared and confused."
Students with Bush on 9/11 Look Back After bin Laden Death
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